I’ve always been what you might call an etiquette junkie. When I was growing up, I found a volume on our shelves called Charlotte Ford’s Book of Modern Manners. It gave me many hours of amusement as I read and re-read it, vowing to be well-versed in the world of mannerly behavior. Had I been invited to meet foreign dignitaries at age 13, I would have known just what color gloves were appropriate to wear.
I’ve since added other tomes to my collection, including several by Emily Post, Miss Manners and the queen of gentility herself, Ms. Amy Vanderbilt. I love her thoughts on things and find her attitude so refreshing, even though this particular book was published in 1957. I guess good manners don’t go out of style.
As much as I love this area of knowledge, its seems too often we value adherence to the rules of manners over simply treating people well. I think about the scene in To Kill a Mockingbird when Scout’s friend Walter Cunningham joins the Finch family for lunch and wants to cover his entire plate with molasses. Scout knows this just isn’t done, but it’s a chance for her father to teach her about breaking rules to do what is right, in this case, make a guest feel comfortable in your home. I think this is what Miss Amy means when she says “our particular circumstances may permit us to omit them somewhat.” Don’t you know as a Vanderbilt, she saw her share of “chi-chi?” Love that expression!
Happy Monday friends!
